I am unexpectedly saddened by a recent loss. When I saw the information, my heart fell, palpably. My stomach hurt. I wanted to run the cursor back up the page to make the information go away. (Have you ever had that reaction? If something in writing on the computer is off the screen, maybe it didn't actually happen?) It didn't work. But here's the weird thing. I didn't even know Timmy Dzicek. Tim was Peg's husband, and Peg was a classmate of mine in high school. Peg was and is witty and smart and artistic and had the most gorgeous head of hair I've ever seen. We weren't super close friends, but in a small school, we were friends enough. Unfortunately, I lost touch with Peg. Until Facebook. With the advent of this online community, our mature selves reignited a friendship bound by common life experiences... husbands, kids, mishaps, laughs, oddities of nature, others' foibles. Her writing was just as witty as I remembered her being, her photos just as wacky as her fun personality was. How fun it is to pick up after all those years and have a bit of banter with an old friend. Until the mentions of her husband's cancer crept into the mix. Of course none of us wants to see anyone dealing with that kind of pain. I learned he was a musician, I learned they met each other right after high school, I learned they had two boys, and I learned that his platelets weren't doing what they were supposed to. I was touched by Peg's happiness that soup had brought Tim happiness. I was touched at the number of people and frequency of posts that wished them both well, sent healing prayers, and from the heart... really cared about what happened. Just last week, Peg had me laughing when she joked that we must be tired of hearing the medical "crap" in her updates. Was she kidding? We all wanted to know what the latest word from the doctor was. We all hoped. And, then, as I was selfishly battling the swine flu from my comfortable bed with my comfortable diagnosis of take something and get some rest, Peg fell silent on FB. Just this morning as my coughing had subsided, I thought, "It's time to check in with Peg." Too late. Peg had checked in with us. Boasting a glowing photo of the happy couple, Peg announced with sadness that Timmy had lost his battle earlier in the morning. NO. (RUN, cursor, RUN.)
So to Peg I say, "God Bless You and Tim and your boys. Thank you for including me in this last little bit of your life with Tim. I am at a loss for words, and you are at a loss of the need to hear more words, I'm sure. As unpredictable as life is, who would have predicted that your husband, whom I've never met, could have such a profound impact on me. I do hope you feel the love that is coming from all corners of your life."
And, who could have predicted that this online community thing could be so powerful...
You're in our hearts, Peg.
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Thank you, Anne. Found this searching for an email address for you.
ReplyDeleteIt amazes me, nearly every day, to think about the people with whom I've reconnected through the so called "internets." And the funny things that fall away when those reconnections are made.
Dougie Green - I went to grade school with Doug, fergoshsake, and he was a hyper, annoying little devil then. Now, I find Douglas oh-so-smart, well read, politically astute and hysterically funny. Plus he's the only person on the planet who remembers Roxanne Damon and her helicopter leg (don't ask, I'd have to demonstrate.)
Alan Marrullier - with whom I was more than a little bit in love with. He doesn't post much, but he's there.
Breck Anderson - another unrequited crush, who has two of the most beautiful daughters I've ever seen now. And has had his own battle with the big "C."
Elizabethe LeBlanc Grey -- a person I don't remember speaking to more than 5 times and that now, I consider a great friend. She is really amazing.
Jim Helman - in high school, Jim was awkward and not a jock or a head or any other clique I can think of other than being the audio/visual guru. For years, I thought of Jim because I would never, ever, ever have gotten that C in Mr. Crumm's chemistry class if I hadn't hitched my wagon to Jim's star. I frequently beat myself up for never thanking him for that. Now Jim is handsome and successful and brilliant, and I've thanked him profusely.
And, you, Anne. No we weren't buds in HS, but you were a friend. I remember you being smart and funny and very in with the in crowd (which I was certainly not) and I remember you being cute. To re-find you, reconnect with you now, finding this amazing, and truly beautiful (I mean you're breathtaking, Anne) woman to replace that "kid" I stored in my memory banks, is such a total and amazing delight for me.
Anyway, thank you for your blog about Timmy, Anne. It's been a bad few days, for some odd reason...it seems to come and go like the rain, with no warning and nothing to do but wait for the sun to shine again...and reading your blog has made me feel loved and cared about and un-alone.
Love ya,
Peg